I want Cornell to beat Kentucky tonight in The Carrier Dome as much as I’ve wanted anything related to sports to happen in the last few months.
Here’s why…
Kentucky is really good. Like, once-in-a-generation-freshman-class-multiple-NBA-All-Stars-and-possible-hall-of-famers good. They’re fun to watch. They’re freaky athletic, they have the best con artist coach in college basketball, and the John Wall dance going viral is the most enjoyable sports jig since Papelbon did his riverdance-leg-kick thing at Fenway. I really do like them and I think they have a handful of athletes that are going to be SportsCenter Top Ten staples for the next decade. They’re great for college basketball. They’re great for the tournament.
The thing about all of this is that they’re all going to get theirs. John Wall is going to be the #1 pick (sorry Ohio St. fans), DeMarcus Cousins is going to get paid, and rumor has it Calipari is even going to bolt Lexington for Brooklyn to hook up with LeBron and Jay-Z. Maybe he’ll be able to bring John Wall to the festivities as well.
These Kentucky kids, a lot of them anyway, are playing for zeroes (as in paycheck numbers) rather than to become heroes.
On the other hand Cornell, as one of their guards Louis Dale joked, is “playing this tournament then it’s all babies and memories.” Well, yeah, that and Goldman-Sachs jobs, Rubix cube tournaments, and Nobel Prizes. He was joking, obviously, but as far as athletics go there’s probably more truth to that joke than he’d care to admit. The guys from Cornell will never get to experience this stage again. Ever. Not under any circumstances, which is why I want it for them so much.
I hope they make Ashley Judd cry on Thursday night. I hope NBA prospect (and calling him an NBA prospect is like calling Jessica Simpson an actress) Ryan Wittman starts feeling it. I hope their 7-footer, Jeff Foote, smashes on Cousins, just one time is all I ask.
Actually all I want is a dandy of a game. I hope UK doesn’t run them out of the gym although I’m kind of scared that’s probably what’s going to happen. Kentucky has been scary this year when they’ve wanted to be and Vegas now has them as the prohibitive favorite since Kansas did their mid-90s Buffalo Bills impression and got Farokhmanesh-ed last Saturday.
One of my favorite things to do is to get together with my friends and tell stories about funny and spectacular events that have happened in our lives. None of us are that athletic (except this guy) but none of that seems to matter over a few drinks at somebody’s house. We’ve got stories for days about things we claim to have done, claim to be able to do, and actually have done (this definitely represents the minority).
One of my friends recently (and humorously) said during the Oklahoma St. vs. Georgia Tech game, “the worst parts are the games.” As in it’s far more fun to talk about “what ifs” or “remember whens” than it is to sit down and watch.
These dudes from Cornell already have a bevy of stories to tell for the rest of their lives but a dagger to the big blue heart of Kentucky would top them all. It wouldn’t matter if West Virginia torched them on Saturday because for the rest of their lives they’d get to tell about that one night in the Carrier Dome….
Maybe they’ll get together in 7 years and Foote will be telling Dale’s kids about the last minute against the UK in ’10.
He’ll tell him about how a bunch of white kids tore down The Commonwealth’s massive Wall of greatness. Maybe he’ll get a little bit emotional when he tells the story too because of how close he was to all his guys. Like a fraternity of best friends who all happened to have made 1500s on their SATs and shoot 95% from the free throw line.
He’ll tell about the night an entire nation watched them topple the most storied college basketball team in the history of the sport. The night Ryan Wittman’s sweet jumper fell with 3 seconds left and he did the John Wall Dance at midcourt in front of 25,000 raucous fan before his team dog-piled him after one of the most wonderful games in tournament history.
I think that’s why we love sports, because they’re inspiring. Or maybe they’re sometimes inspiring. We’re always looking for that inspirational story. Look no further my friend. If a bunch of nerdy Ivy Leaguers can slay the top dogs ‘Cats? That means any of us can do anything, right?
So I hope against hope for Cornell’s ragtag band of misfits. I hope they pull off the impossible. I hope they get their One Shining Moment. Because Kentucky may have Cousins but Cornell’s players are like brothers. Just like a family should be.
Go Big Red.